Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Development

Why Emotional Development Matters

From the very first cry to those toddler tantrums and preschooler power struggles, children are learning how to understand and express their emotions. Supporting emotional development in the early years lays the foundation for lifelong mental health, relationships, and learning.

Behaviour Is Communication

When your child throws a toy, refuses to share, or clings to you at daycare drop-off—they’re not being “naughty.” They’re telling you something.

Young children don’t yet have the words to explain their feelings or needs. Instead, they show them through behaviour. That’s why it’s essential to look beyond the surface and ask:

“What is my child trying to tell me right now?”

Understanding behaviour as communication helps shift our response from punishment to support.

What Is Co-Regulation and Why Is It Important?

Co-regulation is when a caring adult helps a child manage their emotions by staying calm, connected, and responsive. Think of it as emotional training wheels.

Before children can self-regulate (manage emotions on their own), they need to experience repeated moments of co-regulation. When you soothe your baby with a gentle voice, or help your preschooler take deep breaths after a meltdown, you’re teaching their brain how to calm down.

🧠 Co-regulation builds brain pathways that make self-regulation possible later.

Self-Regulation Comes Later

Self-regulation isn’t something babies and toddlers can do on their own. Even older children (and let’s be honest—adults too!) need support. Expecting a young child to “calm down by themselves” isn’t developmentally appropriate.

Instead of time-outs, think “time-in”—a chance to sit with your child, help them feel safe, and guide them through their big feelings.

Practical Strategies for Supporting Emotional Development

🌱 Name the Feeling

Use simple words like “sad,” “angry,” or “frustrated.” You can say,

“You’re feeling really mad that we had to leave the park. That’s okay.”

💞 Validate the Emotion

Let your child know their feelings are real and acceptable:

“It’s okay to feel upset. I’m here with you.”

🧘‍♀️ Offer Calming Tools

Introduce things like deep breathing, cuddles, or sensory objects (e.g., a soft toy or stress ball).

🎨 Use Play and Storytime

Pretend play, books about emotions, and drawing faces can help children explore feelings in safe ways.

🔄 Be a Calm Presence

Even when things are stormy, your calm helps your child find theirs.

Helpful Phrases to Use

• “I see you’re having a hard time. I’m here.”
• “Let’s take some big dragon breaths together.”
• “It’s okay to cry. I’ll stay with you until you’re ready.”